Well this post is a bit odd to write. As the tittle says I’m going through the Big D! Well I guess it’s really not that big. Now before anyone starts asking “What happened? Did he cheat? Did you fight to much? Did you cheat? ” No, no it’s not like that. It’s a mutual discussion between the both of us. Our lives and careers have each done a 180 and taken off in opposite directions. We are still very good friends but our time as husband and wife just seems to be over.
It is a learning curve for sure and every once in a while it catches me off guard. Somehow even though it’s both mutual and we both 100% agree that it’s the right thing to do for us to save our friendship, it somehow still feels like a huge failure.
How much is that social pressure? A lot I think. Everyone always asks me when my husband is moving down and when I say he’s not we are getting a divorce, everyone looks away and goes “oh….sorry” and stands there awkwardly like its a huge taboo that can’t be talked about.
Thank goodness for the guys at work who are like “Welcome to the club sister!” and high five me and joke about it, make sure I’m good, and then joke some more! At least they aren’t afraid to talk about it. Hell half the people I work with have been divorced at least once before. It just kinda comes with the territory. To much moving and long hours at work!
But why is everyone else afraid to talk about it? Seriously this is the 21st century. People are literally getting divorced all the time! and yet if you utter the D word its like the conversation comes to a screeching halt……isn’t marriage like anything else in life and sometimes like even the best things it can fail? People change, situations change and sometimes the best thing to do for each is to leave the other person. So is it old stigma’s and hollywood ideals that make divorce so taboo to this day?
In all reality if we were both in the same city (he’s still up in Alaska working) we would throw a divorce party and celebrate the time we have had together and the accomplishments we did have even though our marriage as a whole didn’t quite work out. Like I said before we are still great friends so it’s just a change to our relationship for the better not a true ending of anything.
Thankfully my horses and working dog are always there for me in those moments everything feels like a huge burden on my shoulders. A lot of changes are going on for me right now and there is nothing like that warm horse smell, a wagging tail, a loving wet nose and whiskered muzzle nuzzling you and making sure your alright in their own way. There is a stability and solidness about horses and dogs that truly make me feel grounded and help recharge, even if I only have 5 minuets to feed them some treats and give them a hug!
I now completely understand those old western stories that are always talking about “Give me a good horse, a dog, a rifle and let me go” because in all reality its the three most dependable things you can have! Thankfully my family and of course my (soon to be Ex) husband still stand by me and help me out but when your a few states away theres not much they can do physically ( like a gigantic bear hug from my dad) to help and so I’ll continue getting my rib crushing hugs from my horses and the playful attention of my dog to get me through those hard moments!
Have no fear there are happier posts coming down the pipeline and a few already about half written that will be posted soon! I’ve had some fun new breakthroughs with the beasties and I do have some really exciting news to share (but I won’t jinx myself just yet)
For those that have gotten divorced or are going through divorce never EVER be ashamed of something that benefits your life and keeps you happy! Don’t let society bring you down because in the end it is our own happiness and ourselves that we have to live with! Life is way too short to not be happy! Live life to the fullest and don’t be afraid to let go and do something new!